Much Needed Laughter

The other day, I had to be fingerprinted, TB-tested, hepatitis-tested, HIV-tested and drug-tested for clearance with various agencies that work with kids in our state. It was... exhausting. And not very much fun. On the up-side, I think my daughter may have an interesting story based on the fact that Mommy had to go into the booking area of the jail and later had to pee in a cup, but somehow I don't think her version of that tale is going to cast me in the best light.

I was at the point where I needed to find the humor in this process. My friend Jill was one of our references for our homestudy. I saw her tonight, and she brought a copy of the reference form with her. She thought I might want to see what she said, maybe even read it aloud to the group we were with. What follows is Jill's handiwork.

How long have you known this couple?

I met Heather during my incarceration, which was about 6 months ago. Heather and I served time together for tax evasion.

How would you describe their character?

G's character: Peter Griffin, the father from The Family Guy. Like Peter, G is irresponsible, a heavy drinker, and has an IQ that is borderline at best.

Heather's character: Nemo. She often seems "lost," but is also a fantastic swimmer.

How would you describe their parenting ability?

With the help of SRS, I think they have the potential to become great parents. It may be too late for poor M, though.

Would you recommend them to adopt a child?

Yes. The tax breaks that additional children bring to the family help people like Heather and myself stay honest and up-to-date on our taxes.

Additional comments?

Please don't hold Heather's illegal alien status against her. She's still a wonderful person.

Busy, Busy

As usual, right?

I'm about a week away from the end of the semester, and I just need to assemble my final project for the one class I'm taking. That shouldn't take long. However, I'm really irked because we had one group assignment during the semester and neither of my group members did their work. Yes, I got two duds in my group. Ugh. So, I am lacking some feedback that is supposed to be included in my final project. It's bad enough when group members don't pull their weight, but even worse when you can't really make up for it. I'm going to try, but I don't have high hopes for getting full points on my project. Boooo.

We met with our social worker about our homestudy last week. We have to fill out all of our initial paperwork again because of some crazy issue with the notarization. The paperwork is perfectly fine, mind you. We just have to copy over all of the info and have it re-notarized. Argh.

In addition, we have to go get fingerprinted and come up with statements on letterhead to verify our employment. None of these things are terribly difficult, but after so many papers and hoops and such, I do start to feel a little bit sad that no one has to check these things before you take a biological baby home from the hospital. Yes, I want them to know that I am a fit mother. It's just that I feel like I am so much more than an income statement.

Currently, I'm baking some parmesan fish that smells so amazing, I can't wait for lunch. My friend Alison sent me a recipe for parmesan chicken that is really easy and yummy. Just throw some mayo and parmesan on top of the chicken, smear around, and toss some bread crumbs on top before baking. I decided to adapt it a wee bit for the fish I had in the freezer. If it tastes as good as it smells, this adaptation was an excellent idea.