Monday, January 31, 2005

No, Really. It Was A Beefalo.

So, a beefalo walked through my yard tonight. We were outside enjoying the frosty winter air and preparing to mock my brother-in-law who was riding down the intersecting road on his bicycle. Don't ask why, he just needed a good mocking and I'm just the gal to do it. Anyway.... This bull comes trotting by on the edge of the yard, along the main road. Bulls can be pretty mean, not to mention that cattle in the road is a major accident waiting to happen, so we got pretty excited to see this ginormous beast amble by. We hid the children and waved our arms frantically at the brother-in-law, because you really don't want to meet a bull on a bike. Then we set about thinking of people nearby who may have somehow lost an animal that weighs about a bazillion pounds and is twice as tall as me.

We couldn't reach any of the likely suspects by phone, so my extra-daring husband hops in the pickup to get a closer look at the animal. I, of course, hopped in too, because thankfully, the pickup is bigger than most bulls, so I felt pretty brave about the whole thing. We drove up to this animal, which was actually moving pretty damn fast for something so heavy. Just as I was starting to wonder what faulty genetics had resulted in a bull with such a funky face, my husband exclaimed, "That's no bull, that's a beefalo!"

I should have known that if it was in my yard, it would be a weird animal of some sort. A beefalo is a cross between a cow and a buffalo. No, I don't know why someone would want a beefalo. I suspect it's either the potential for low-fat meat or just a sick genetics program from hell. The very fact that my husband correctly identified the beefalo gave us our first clue as to who the beast belonged to.

You see, just days before, my nephew, Timmy, who is in first grade, came home bragging about how his friend Mitchell's dad had gotten a beefalo as a gift. Knowing that Mitchell's dad had to be the only one on our side of the county with such an animal, we sped off to locate him.

As we arrived at their farm, we noticed some trucks out by their cattle pen. Apparently, they had hired some cowboys to round up this beefalo, who was a regular Harry Houdini of the pasture, slipping in and out of fences at will. These guys were searching through a tree-packed field, looking for a beefalo who was currently 3 miles away heading for town.

They were none too happy to hear that the beefalo had given them the slip once again. We never did see them come back by our house with the animal in a trailer, so it's possible that Mitchell's family will be dining on some low-fat beefalo burgers for the next few weeks.

I don't know what it is with the animals in this county. First the rogue peeping emu looking in people's windows. Then the creepy coyotes taunting me with their yipping right outside my bedroom window. Now the beefalo taking a day trip into town. I don't even want to speculate on what's next....

No comments: