One of those days...

I'm almost 30 years old, and today, what I really want is my mommy. Do you ever have days like that? I would love to have a day to hang out at my parents house, eat my mom's delicious cooking, and have absolutely no responsibilities. My parents live on the coast (come to think of it, a beach is also on my list of things I want today), though, so getting there is not easy from my rural midwest location. *sigh*

In other news, the constant rain of the last few days has the wheat looking all lovely and lush, which makes me happy. I like looking out my kitchen window and seeing the wheat waving at me.

Oh Yeah!

I was just looking at one of my old posts, and realized that I forgot to mention that we do (finally) have television channels and (gasp!) high-speed internet here on the farm! We got DirecTV when we built our new house, so yeah, I waited more than a year to break this news on my fabulous blog. I procrastinate. Deal with it! The speedy internet came soon after, which is really, really good because it makes my job so much easier.

So I finally did get to see Sex and the City, though it was in re-runs by the time I saw it, so no one wanted to discuss it with me. Whatever. People here think I'm a movie star when I wear Old Navy, so probably they wouldn't have raved over Jimmy Choos with me. I love my friends in a big way, but I cannot think of even one of them who is even half as girly as me. No one else has shoe love. *sniff* Thank goodness Patty likes to get mani/pedis and shop. She's my only hope!

In other news, my cat is trying to chase the ceiling fan. Poor, dumb kitty.

Miguel No Habla Ingles, Part 10,348

This is the exact text of a message from Miguel that popped up on my phone this afternoon:

MY PRACTY STAR NORMA

I don't even know anyone named Norma.

How Embarrassing!

Tonight, I entertained myself by watching a movie on HBO, and I really, really enjoyed it. If anyone had called me while I was watching it, I probably would have lied and said I was watching Gone with the Wind, or To Kill a Mockingbird, or maybe even Casablanca. I definitely wouldn't have admitted that I was watching Stick It. For the second time. And laughing really hard.

Now, I do enjoy a good cinema classic, and I've seen all of the movies I listed above. But there's something about Stick It that appeals to my completely juvenile sense of humor.

I think it's playing again tomorrow night, so if you were planning to dial me up, you may want to check the TV listings first. If you call while I'm watching Stick It, I'm totally lying to you about it.

Miguel Speaks No English: Part 547

My husband told Miguel twice that he needed to set his clock ahead an hour for daylight saving time. Naturally, Miguel indicated that he understood this instruction. However, when the school bus started honking in the driveway at 7:15 Monday morning, Miguel expressed his confusion at why the bus had arrived an hour early. Since he was wearing only a towel around his waist at the time, he missed the bus. In retrospect, shoving him out the door in his towel might have encouraged him to listen more carefully and let us know if he doesn't understand something instead of just saying yes.

Travel, Exhaustion, Illness

I spent the last week in a panic, trying to get ready for a weekend trip to San Diego for work. My panic mostly involved attempts to get the house in a clean enough state that I wouldn't have to come home to a total wreck. After a few days of seemingly endless cleaning, I gave up, because every single time I'd finish one cleaning task, someone else in the house would re-make the mess. Tired of the vicious cycle, I finally decided that if my husband and children wanted to wallow in filth for a weekend, they could go right ahead. So they did.

The only problem with that plan was that when I staggered back to my home after a hellish day of travel, the state of my kitchen and living room was enough to make me weep and curl up in the fetal position in the corner. Of course, I had to move 47 My Little Pony toys, two Playstation games, three plates of stale pizza, nine socks and a homemade statue crafted from cat fur and masking tape in order to make room to curl up and suck my thumb.

Second problem - though I had an absolutely wonderful weekend in San Diego, my sinuses went into a tailspin while I was there, leading to extraordinary pain on the flight home. The extreme pain combined with one delayed flight, two uncooperative airport workers, one re-booking, daylight saving time and a very late night flight home has rendered me an unfunny and exhausted lump of laziness who has no real inclination to leave the comfort of my recliner to actually clean up the messes my uncouth family created while I was gone. So don't drop in just now, eh? Mount Saint Laundry will eat any unannounced visitors.

Enough bitching - here are the good things from my trip:
1. Great ideas for productive work gathered from meetings.
2. Met Carolyn and her adorable boys.
3. Ate sushi for the first time.
4. Met Jess and her adorable son, plus her sweet mom.
5. Wore "young and fun" top to cocktail hour and did not unintentionally expose any body parts or spill any substances down my shirt.
6. Had the bestest long layover ever because the three extra hours in Dallas meant that I got to meet Liesl and Jon.
7. Got a big hug upon my return and a sweet little voice saying, "Mommy, I missed you soooo much."
8. My absense rendered my husband so bereft that he started on our deck, a project that has been on hold for a year. Should I leave more often????

Well, Hello!

Since you're reading my blog, I will assume that you want to know more about me. You love me, I can tell! And since you love me, I will indulge your desire for H-related trivia. I know, you don't deserve this kind of goodness, my naughty little monkeys, but I will give it to you just the same. Yay!

So, where to start, things the average person may not know about me....
1. I'm afraid of sewer drains. Thank you, Stephen King.
2. I've met Stephen King. I won a writing contest and got to meet him during his Insomnia tour.
3. I love horror movies, paranormal stories and cheesy psychic detective TV shows.
4. My shoulders and elbows are double-jointed, or extra flexy or something. I can band my elbows backwards a little ways, and if I hold a belt or long stick behind my back, I can lift it and bring it up over my head and to the front without letting go.
5. I've been a magazine editor, radio DJ, agricultural news writer, baby products expert, copy shop clerk and menswear sales person.
6. I studied horticulture at the university (though it wasn't my primary area of study) but I cannot keep houseplants alive.
7. When I was little, I wished that my name was Margaret.
8. I've known how to sew clothing since I was 8 and taught myself to quilt a few years ago.
9. I'm a certified child passenger safety technician. Please buckle your kids!
10. I've been to Mexico, Costa Rica and China.

And since I've been practicing so hard with my new camera, I will treat you to a rare glimpse of me. Try not to stare!