It's OK! I'm Still Alive!

Yeah, I know you were worried in my absense. You checked my blog every day, didn't you? And if you didn't, shame on you, because I could have been in serious trouble. And who would have rescued me all the way out here in the wilderness? Not you if you weren't checking in here to see if I was gone. I'm disappointed.

So, I'm a little ashamed that I've neglected my blog. I'm not sure I can recap the last 5 months or so in any form that you'd want to read, so I'll hit the highlights, or lowlights as they may be called.

1. No, we still haven't moved into the house of hugenormous proportions. OK, it's not that big, but it is five and a half times bigger than the shack of impossibly small proportions where we currently reside. And I used a calculator for that computation, in case you know me well enough to giggle when I've committed math. Anyway, after waiting 3 months for the basement to be poured, and waiting for the buckets of rain to dry, and waiting for the house to be liveable, we are now waiting for the utilities dude to hook up the water/sewer/gas connections. The electricity works, so Maya is no longer flipping light switches in vain. To be more specific, we are waiting now for out water heater to be installed. Apparently, there is something so miraculous about a water heater that it holds up the entire rest of the utilities system. The toilets can't even be installed. You may be wondering, as I am, what the toilets have to do with the hot water tank. No answer on that just yet, but suffice it to say that after 7 week (yes! Seven!) of waiting on this stupid pipes/waterheater/toilets/faucets nonsense to be resolved, I'm fully ready to become known as the county bitch, because I don't think people should have to suffer poor customer service just because it's a small town. Oh, I was going to give you the brief version, wasn't I?

2. I had a birthday recently. It was kind of a crappy day. No one really remembered except my mom. I even got an email from a friend on my birthday, asking me to participate in a big birthday surprise for another friend, whose birthday is upcoming. OK, that actually did make me laugh a little, because I'm nothing if not a giggler at irony. That is irony, right? I get confused after Alanis Morrisette's whole irony misuse thing. I didn't have a black fly in my chardonnay, so I guess I'm good there.

3. I've lost 30 pounds or so since May. I think I've mostly seethed it off, really. All of this pent-up rage over the house situation must have some positive metabolic effects. See, while I'm calling the utility contractor a lying manwhore sonofabitch in my head, I'm burning calories! Whee! If you see me on the street and I look like I'm concentrating really hard, don't disturb me. It's like my own personal Gold's Gym of snarkiness and hatery. Regardless of whether it's the anger or the countless hours I've devoted to my elliptical machine and the impossible bendiness of Winsor pilates, I'm lookin' pretty damn good these days. And these? Are pre-pregnancy jeans. Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

4. Coffee. www.intelligentsiacoffee.com. Buy yourself some Black Cat NOW! My day is no longer complete without a ginormous mug of Black Cat. BobQ is a coffee god.