September Roundup

I can't believe the whole month has nearly passed me by. As many of you know, this is the craziest time of year for me with work, so I am slaving away in front of my laptop, just not here at my blog. When do I ever slave away at my blog, you might ask? Good point. I don't.

Early September sent me to Vegas for the ABC Kids Expo. Lots of walking. Lots of great contacts. Judged the JPMA Innovation Awards, which was pretty cool. Over 100 entries. Only 10 winners. That was hard! Also hard? Finding non-fried foods to eat anywhere in the vicinity of The Strip. You'll be pleased to know that I went somewhere other than my hotel and the convention center this year. I met this lovely person, Anya, who is an expert on travel with kids, and she drove me down the strip one evening, and we also went out for a beer during the week. The beer was bigger than my arm and I had to drink it fast to avoid the liederhosen-wearing, bell-ringing, table-dancing, German band at the restaurant, but that is probably a story for another time.


Mid-September is my baby girl's birthday. She's seven! Hard to believe. I still remember how impossibly small she was when they laid her on my chest. I also remember quickly demanding that my husband take her because, holy crap, I didn't know what to do with a baby, for heaven's sake! He actually didn't know, either. Poor M. She's lucky she's made it this far with two clueless parents. At seven, her favorite color is purple, she is still crazy for horses, she loves Webkinz, reads like crazy, thinks fishing with Daddy is fantastic and wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up.

Around M's birthday, I always end up thinking about how I ended up hanging around the online pregnancy forums when I learned I was expecting the unexpected baby. That was January 2001, which means that in a few months, the women I met wayyyy back then will have been my friends for 8 years. I was just looking for some answers to my incredibly noob pregnancy questions (if the test says I'm pregnant, I'm, uhh, really pregnant, right?). Who would have guessed some of those women would become my closest friends?

Fall is finally in the air. My favorite season. Not too hot, not too cold. Halloween. My birthday. Clothes in my favorite colors. An excuse to break out giant wool sweaters. Football! Camping. The occasional bonfire at the lake. I love fall.

I'm making an effort to take more walks this fall. The whole "busy at work" thing is having a negative effect on me. My ass is taking on the shape of my favorite recliner. This is not good. Not good at all. Must walk. Must not become furniture-shaped. Might be hard to find cute fall clothes in recliner-shaped sizes.

My Kid is a Critic

I was driving Maya home from gymnastics tonight and she was chattering at me from the back seat, non-stop, as usual. She noted that the stars were coming out and announced that she would be making a wish on the first star she saw.

A few seconds later, she said, "I made a wish and I'm not telling it to nobody!" I said, "that's cool. You should say, 'I'm not telling anyone' instead of 'nobody,' though." I could feel her roll her eyes at me from the back seat, and then she asked, "why shouldn't I say 'nobody'?"

"It's not grammatically correct," I answered. She paused for a moment and then said, "ooooo-k, that was a weird thing you just said, mom."

Ooooooooooh! Ghosts!

Let me preface this post by saying that I'm not entirely sure that I believe in ghosts, at least not as they are commonly shown on the big screen. Every once in a while, something happens, though, that makes me wonder if maybe some of the paranormal realm might just be real.

My camera remote has been missing for nearly 6 months now. I remember when I used it last - I was in the basement messing around with portrait lighting. I keep a pretty close eye on my camera equipment, so the next time I went to use the remote, I was really surprised that it wasn't in it's proper place. I went back to the basement, knowing that if I had left it down there, it would be on one of the two tables by my backdrop stand. It wasn't there. I looked high and low. Under the couches. Behind the backdrop. Up on the bookcases. Through all of my camera bags and in all of my jeans pockets. No camera remote. Every time I've been in the basement in the meantime, I've looked for the remote with no luck. Last week, I started to consider ordering a new remote.

Fast forward to today. I ventured down to the basement to run on my treadmill. As I passed one of the tables by my backdrop stand, on my way to find some TV entertainment for my run, I saw something on the table out of the corner of my eye. In the middle of the otherwise empty table was my missing camera remote. I said, "yay!" and assumed that one of the kids had found the remote and happened to place it right where I probably left it 6 months ago. I put the TV remote and my water bottle down by the camera remote, did my run, then spent some time on the rowing machine, and started to stretch to finish up. No one else had been in the basement during that time.

When I leaned over to grab the table during a stretch, I was surprised to see that the camera remote was no longer there. My water and the TV remote, yes. Camera remote, nowhere in sight. I was a little creeped out by that, but finished what I was doing and then started looking around the basement again.

A little ways from the table, on one of the couches, was the camera remote. Sitting right in the middle of the cushion. Not like someone tossed it there or it got bumped (by the no one who was there!!!) and flew over there. It was face up, perfectly square with the cushion. The weird thing is that even if I had somehow managed to move the remote and then lose all memory of doing so within an hour timeframe, I would never have moved it from the table to the couch. I *hate* chasing things that fall between the couch cushions, so I never set things down on the couches. So weird!

Oddly, I was watching a movie about ghosts on TV when this happened. The other time that something weird happened to me, I was also watching something about ghosts on TV. That was when I was 17 and babysitting. The kids were asleep and I was alone in the family's basement. A ride-on toy wheeled itself across the room in front of me that night. As a 17-year-old I was far jumpier than I am now. I think I managed not to scream but I certainly hauled ass upstairs and didn't go back to the basement again. Ever.

What say you, internet? Camera-remote-hiding poltergeist? Does the spirit realm have a thing for me when I'm in a basement and watching ghost shows? Or am I losing my ever-loving mind? Yes, I'm aware that the last option is probably the most likely.

Laundry Oddness

I'm trying to scale Mount Saint Laundry and slowly take it down to the ground piece by piece, as it threatens to erupt and kill us all at any moment. As I've been searching my daughter's room for the bits of laundry that did not make it into her laundry basket (which is, umm, 90 percent or so, since the laundry basket makes a better doll bed than clothing receptacle), I've noticed a strange trend. There are socks in my home that do not belong to anyone who lives here.

Even stranger than finding random socks in my house is that these socks always appear in pairs. The socks that belong to my family members? Oh no. They do not mate for life. Or even for 45 minutes in the dryer.

So, I have to wonder how it is that all of these matched sets of socks that I did not purchase have ended up in my house. If someone is breaking in when I'm not home to leave their dirty socks here, could you at least leave pairs that fit one of us? Or leave something other than socks? If I'm doing someone else's laundry, I'd prefer it to be haute couture and in my size, please. A Valentino gown would work just fine.

If You Know Nothing About Car Seats....

....don't talk about car seats! I am to the point where I have to avoid reading threads about car seats on forums and comments sections on blogs that mention car seats. The ignorance is astounding, and the people who know the least about car seats are always the first to comment. If we were talking about what type of coffee to drink in the morning or which shoe designer is best, it wouldn't bother me. But car seats? When you spread ignorance and myths about car seats, you could kill a child.

I would actually love it if more people talked about car seats. I would just prefer that they do some decent research first. Or, if they'd like to argue about things like expiration dates or why brands cost what they do or when a child has outgrown a seat or when it's appropriate to turn a child forward-facing, it would be awesome if they could at least take the CPST certification class first and put in a few years of work in the trenches so they know of which they speak.

So, I'm going to use my blog as the lovely, venty space it was intended to be for a few minutes. I won't comment on those forums or blogs any more, because it only makes my head feel more explodey. Here are a few of the most common gems on the internet, along with my usual responses.

- We never used car seats as kids and we lived! We got to ride on the back dash!
Yes, so did I. We were lucky, because there were a lot of other kids who didn't live. In fact, I know a guy whose sister was killed when someone rear-ended them while the two kids were laying in the ultra-desirable back of the station wagon. Still today, car crashes are the number 1 cause of death for young kids. We've come a long way, but there is a ways to go yet.

- The expiration date is just a way for car seat manufacturers to make more money.
I'm not a scientist, so I can't explain exactly how and when the plastic parts of your child's car seat break down. But they do. Take a look at this crash test video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvCRz7BRAM0 . That's a 10 year old Britax car seat. Please note that the straps break through the back of the car seat shell on impact, allowing the test dummy to fly almost completely out of the seat. If I can keep that from happening to my child, I'd pay the car seat manufacturers a hell of a lot more than I do now.

- My pediatrician said I could turn my 6-month-old forward-facing because she has good neck control / can sit up / etc.
First things first... your pediatrician probably didn't study car seats in medical school. Peds are notorious among child passenger safety advocates for giving the worst car seat advice. The American Academy of Pediatrics does have statements about car seat issues. If your pediatrician isn't recommending that you follow at least the minimum standards that AAP suggests, I'd find a new doctor. Children are so much safer when rear-facing. It's not a happy milestone to turn forward-facing. Head control or ability to sit up has nothing to do with how your child's body can handle crash forces. Babies' heads are so big and heavy compared to the rest of their bodies, and when they sit forward-facing, their head can move forward so much more in a crash. More movement means more injury. Look up internal decapitation if you really want to know why I recommend rear-facing for as long as possible.

- My baby's legs were sticking over the edge of the car seat, so I turned him around. I didn't want his legs to break in a crash.
Ahhh, I know this one so well! I heard this, too, when my daughter was one! Here's what the EMT who helped me install her convertible car seat told me about it. "In a crash that is severe enough to break her legs, there is also a chance of other very serious injuries. Would you rather her break her legs or her neck, if you had to choose?" Touche, Mr. EMT. I got the point. And for the record, I don't know any CPSTs who have actually heard of a child's legs being broken because they were rear-facing.

- More expensive car seats are pointless. You're just paying for a name and a pretty cover!
I used to believe this one, too. :) As a CPST, my job is to tell people that all car seats on the U.S. market meet the same safety standards, and that the best car seat is the one that fits your baby and your vehicle, and that you will use correctly every time. And that is true. However, to understand why so many CPSTs find the high-dollar car seats to be worthwhile, you have to look a little further. Those safety standards (FMVSS213)? They say that all car seats have to be crash-tested at 30mph on a bench seat, frontal crash only. Some manufacturers *only* do that test. Other manufacturers test frontal, rear, side impact and rollover collisions. But crash tests are expensive, so those costs have to be recouped through the car seats. For me, knowing that my child's car seat has been tested beyond the minimum is a must, because not all crashes are 30 mph frontals. Convenience features also can add to cost. Things like cupholders or a more attractive cover aren't worth the cost to me, but built-in lockoffs, extra EPS foam and increased side-impact protection, easy to use LATCH hooks and non-twisty straps are worth every penny. Those things make the car seat perform better in a crash and make it easier to install and use correctly.

- This custom cover / seatbelt tightener / strap pad is crash tested! It says it meets FMVSS 213!
Accessory manufacturers love to tell parents that their products are crash tested or that they meet all applicable federal safety standards. The tricky thing is, FMVSS 213 does not say anything about aftermarket accessories. There are no crash test standards for a custom car seat cover. They could throw it against a wall and it would meet the current, nonexistent standards. A can of Spam could be labeled to meet and exceed FMVSS 213. The easiest, safest route is to avoid using any car seat accessory that didn't come with your car seat, or that isn't provided by the seat manufacturer. Using aftermarket stuff can void your car seat warranty and absolve the manufacturer of any liability if the seat fails in a crash. Some accessories, like custom covers, can interfere with the function of the car seat if they don't fit the harness strap slots perfectly or add padding underneath the child that could compress in a crash, leading to a loose harness. Custom covers are rarely flame-retardant, either, which could pose a big problem in some types of crashes.

- It's so stupid that states are making kids sit in boosters until they're 8.
Considering that real world crash data showed that kids in the 4-8 age group were still being injured quite often, I'd say it wasn't stupid, but smart. Vehicle seatbelts are made for adult men. They can't work if they don't fit. Boosters help the seatbelts fit kids.

- I don't wear my seatbelt because I want to be thrown clear in a crash / know someone who lived because they weren't wearing a seatbelt.
Anyone who claims to have lived because they weren't buckled should probably play the lottery a lot, because they are statistically very lucky. The biggest favor a seatbelt does you is keep you inside the vehicle in a crash. If you're ejected, you're 4 times more likely to be killed. Not wearing a seatbelt is also incredibly selfish if you have other passengers in the car. When your body flies around inside the vehicle during a crash, you're likely to seriously injure or kill the other people in the car, whether they are buckled or not.