Friday, May 13, 2005

Back, and Badder Than Ever

OK, don't know about that last part, but I am back. You may remember me. The one who hasn't blogged in about 107 years? Yeah, that's me. Time flies when you ignore your blog, apparently.

I'd like to start off with a plea to the powers of the universe. Please stop the rain. Just for now. The crops have plenty for the moment, and dry weather would be good 'cause mama needs a new basement. The rain may fall again in August after the irrigation lake is pumped down and my husband is freaking about losing 900 acres of soybeans (and after the new basement is cured!). Thanks.

I was talking with some friends today about what life would be like if you were a phone sex operator. I'm told I have the voice for it, but alas, I'm a prude. Couldn't do it. Probably would laugh and ruin the moment. I guess some guys find laughter sexy, in which case I'm like Bridgitte Bardot times a hundred, but I digress.... If you were a phone sex operator, it would probably be really hard to find people that you could talk to about your work. And you know that phone sex operators have some seriously funny, and nasty, stories to tell about work. How could you keep silent? On the flip side, though, picture Thanksgiving dinner, the family gathered round the table, your cousin Tom telling hilarious stories about his shenanigans in the accounting office. You decide to share a work story of your own. "So, the other day at work, I was talking to this guy, and I said 'Oooh, yeah, baby. I like that. Spank me again, you bad boy.' And then the guy yells 'chocolate pie!' And I was all, like, what?"

Also, would it be hard to remember to answer the phone normally when you weren't working? You know how if you work at a place where you have to answer the phone with the business name, after a while it's hard not to do that at home, too? What if you're on the city bus and your cell phone rings, and you answer, "Hi, this is Cindy, I'm hot, horny and totally na-ked." Your dad, on the other end of the line, would be totally freaking out.

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